Babies Are Too STINKIN’ Cute 20 Funny Statuses: I hope manners is the next cool trend. I’m on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers. I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk. Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as “doing some […]
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Disney’s Rules, 20 Funny Statuses, Seniors At Bonnaroo
Disney’s Rules Try it out! See how it works for you.. 20 Funny Statuses: I always like seeing those “Baby on Board” stickers because it’s nice to see agreeable babies out there. I’ll call it a smartphone the day I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells “Down here! In the couch cushions!” As the […]
Ice Cube Doesn’t Need a Life Vest, 20 Funny Statuses, Last One In Is A Rotten Egg!
Ice Cube Doesn’t Need a Life Vest 20 Funny Statuses: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry. Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like. I stay up late every night and […]
Fall Break, 20 Funny Statuses, Ordering At Restaurants
You Have Fall Break? Here, let me ruin that for you! 20 Funny Statuses: When I go running, I usually meet new people….. like paramedics. It’s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either. Wine doesn’t have many vitamins. That’s why you have to drink a lot of it. You should never lie through your teeth. […]
Bug Vacuum, 20 Funny Statuses, Ryan Reynolds Builds A Crib
Bug Vacuum Where have you been all of my life? 20 Funny Statuses: You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Sometimes, not remembering may be better. Don’t play stupid with me… I’m better at it! Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% […]
Edna Made Knows Best, 20 Funny Statuses, Jimmy Fallon’s Good Burger
Edna Made Knows Best Madonna should’ve listened to Edna Made! 20 Funny Statuses: If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They […]