Trying to make small talk..
20 Funny Status:
- People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
- There’s no such thing as too old for Disney.
- Time for a box o’ wine and a crazy straw
- my life is falling apart faster than a nature valley granola bar
- I love it when people compliment my hair like thank you I grew it myself
- Can you illegally download sleep
- people who randomly compliment you on something you are insecure about are the nicest kind of people
- 50 shades of dark circles under my eyes
- Do you ever wake up from an amazing dream, and try to go back to sleep hoping theres gonna be a sequal
- Probably gonna marry the Wi-Fi for how often it goes down on me.
- Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say.
- Got a twelve inch sub. Going to eat the first half now and save the second half for dinner oops already ate the entire thing.
- Someone should make a kind of pizza where the toppings are just really tiny pizzas.
- Ah, Facebook Mobile…or as i like to call it, “WALK ‘N STALK.”
- Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
- Got a mosquito bite last night. Bet that little guy is hungover today.
- Why do people expect me to go to work EVERY week?
- I’d love to walk into this closet and end up in Narnia right now.
- I hate spiders. But I’m always thankful that they can’t fly.
- I love you most when you let me sleep in.
Homies Always Have Each Other’s Back
Swiper no swiping!
What would you do?
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