Laughing At Your Own Text
Share if you crack yourself up!
20 Funny Statuses:
- Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
- You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
- I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
- I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
- I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
- You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
- Figuring out that you’ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
- A “Tap Out” sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
- I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn’t named Marvin.
- The older I get the more I understand Squidward’s anger.
- I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
- I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
- I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say “Don’t get smart with me!”
- Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
- A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
- Nothing tests that whole “for better or worse” thing like the question “does this look infected?”
- There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
- OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
- I’ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones.
- I’m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
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