Laughing At Your Own Text Share if you crack yourself up! 20 Funny Statuses: Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period. You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number. I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being […]
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This Is Me Thinking About Thanksgiving, 20 Funny Statuses, Party Noisemakers In A Exhaust Pipe
This Is Me Thinking About Thanksgiving Seriously though.. 20 Funny Statuses: Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up. In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same […]
Darth Vader’s Road Rage, 20 Funny Statuses, Sneeze Your Head Off
Darth Vader’s Road Rage Very disturbing. 20 Funny Statuses: My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full. I’m gonna have to get new pets, I’m running out of passwords. I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass. Friday the 13th is […]
Woke Up Motivated, 20 Funny Statuses, Simon Pegg Pranks Twitter
Woke Up Motivated… Like dust in the wind.. 20 Funny Statuses: That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn’t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn’t brushed her teeth in forever. Just moisturized my hands and now I can’t get out of the bathroom. Send help. My house has really let itself go. like wearing glasses […]
Baffled Boxer, 20 Funny Statuses, Death Sails
Baffled Boxer 20 Funny Statuses: f puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again. Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information. It’s called “Biscotti” because nobody would buy “chocolate covered croutons”. Whenever I have […]
When People Argue On Social Networks, 20 Funny Statuses, Halloween Prank
When People Argue On Social Networks… Get the popcorn… this is going to be a good one! 20 Funny Statuses: I’d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends! If you’re an astronaut, and you don’t end a relationship with “look, I just need space..” then your wasting everyones time. I’m […]