When People Argue On Social Networks…
Get the popcorn… this is going to be a good one!
20 Funny Statuses:
- I’d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
- If you’re an astronaut, and you don’t end a relationship with “look, I just need space..” then your wasting everyones time.
- I’m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
- Whoever said “What goes around, comes around”, never passed around a bag of Doritos………………….
- You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I’m like that, but with salad.
- My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe?”
- You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
- If we’re in a situation where I am the “voice of reason,” then we are in a very very bad situation.
- People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
- If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
- Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
- “Teeter Totter” is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
- I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
- I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
- I really like compliments but I don’t want anyone talking to me…
- If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
- Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
- To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
- Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
- I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
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