Make someones week, share one of these..
20 Hilarious Facebook Status Posts:
- Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.
- If you don’t want people asking for rides again, say yes the first time but don’t show up.
- I have a conflict of no interest.
- My life is currently buffering.
- Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
- Starting to think the “walls” you have around you were built by the terrified villagers to keep you in.
- Why “Trojan” condoms? Didn’t the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
- I was gonna go out today but then I sat down. Gravity’s a bitch.
- The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
- Don’t waste good booze on bad memories.
- Washing my entire car with a squeegee at the gas pump.
- Those annoying “live chat” customer service pop-ups go away if you ask them what they’re wearing.
- I don’t think this guy who just told a woman to calm down understands how women work.
- Remember real friends don’t make you feel bad about yourself.
- Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
- I’d wish you the best
but I am the best
- Will you date me?
- Teenagers have time + energy, but no money.
Middle age people have money + energy, but no time.
Old people have time + money, but no energy.
- At parties, I socialize with dogs before people.
- You miss 100% of the naps you don’t take.
Haha, I think we’ve all felt this way at one point in time.
How to hold a baby..
That’s one clever dad right there 🙂 Please feel free to share if you enjoyed it.
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