Nerds In The Yard, Statuses to Steal, & Supercats

Never trade your Charizard..

“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
At Starbucks I order under the name Dad. Then leave.
A robber could make me hand over all of my money just by threatening to touch me with a dirty plunger.
Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day. He loves his pot.
“I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as “doing some undercover work”
Even I don’t take my relationship advice.
Butt jiggle is just my way of waving goodbye.
Girl messes up guy’s hair = cute. Guy messes up girl’s hair = murder victim.
I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms
Sometimes I just want to go where all the missing socks go.
Dear middle finger, Thanks for sticking up for me.
Well, another day has passed, and I didn’t use Algebra.
Apparently every season is engagement season.
A fun way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say “I think we lost them.”
I’m an open book, written in a language you don’t speak.
Don’t quit your day dream

Cats will be cats!

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page.