20 Funny Statuses:
Post one of theses as your status and have all of your friends laughing along!
- I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
- Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
- Sometimes I don’t even know if I’m kidding.
- I once took a guy to Starbucks because I forgot his name
- One of us has to be the mature one and I vote for not me.
- Whats my favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills
- I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
- Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I’m never gonna get chicks being a “homeless romantic”.
- Push your boundaries or settle for your limitations.
- Some days “solitary confinement” sounds more like paradise than like punishment.
- “Missy Eliot came on and I started to sit back flip and reverse it” me explaining to my chiropractor how I threw my back out.
- The cops knocked on my door and asked me where I was between 5 and 6….I told them kindergarten
- How do you restore your body back to ‘factory settings’? Is it kale? it’s kale, isn’t it? please don’t say kale.
- There are a lot of things I haven’t done because I don’t think I’d look good in prison stripes.
- Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
- Sorry for getting so drunk on your birthday that people thought it was my birthday.
- Don’t be afraid to dream. Reality’s not going anywhere.
- If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
- Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
- If pigs could fly imagine how good their wings would taste.
Funny Pics | Gifs | Videos | Yesterdays Status Updates
Password Hint:
Genius or ingenius..?
News Anchor Does The WhipNae Nae
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ8T3ukld8Y&feature=youtu.be
Please, do NOT quit your day job! Share if you think you can break it down better than this guy.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page.