Make someones day, share one of these…
20 Ridiculous Facebook Statuses:
- Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
- A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
- Words I’m incorporating into my vernacular: Vernacular, Incorporating
- Telling someone not to be sad because others have it worse, is like telling people they can’t be happy because others have it better.
- It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
- If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
- Some company calls my house every single day & if you answer the phone they just hang up on you. So my question is, how do I get that job?
- Told a woman to calm down once, so yeah you could say I know what it’s like to survive a near death experience.
- If you guys ever need anything always remember I’m just an unanswered phone call away.
- Politics is just show business for ugly people.
- Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
- If I should die before I wake… I ask the lord my phone to erase.
- Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping F*CK YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
- Spending the rest of my life trying to find someone I love as much as my bed.
- If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
- Do you guys ever just stare into the sunset and think: I locked the door, right?
- Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
- With my eyes. That’s how I roll.
- Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
- Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
That awkward moment when..
Haha, I both love and hate when this happens. It’s both super awkward and hilarious at the same time.
Don’t wake KittEh..
Haha, we feel your pain cat!
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