Score more likes, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that “morning” and “mourning” sound the same… Before calling me, ask yourself, “Is this textable?” LIFE HACK: You literally don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. *texts back 6 weeks later* sorry I fell […]
That One Friend, Guilty Dog Strikes Again, and Smart Status Updates
Make someones day, share one of these… 20 Smart Status Updates: Adulthood: I haven’t checked my bank account in weeks, but my card hasn’t been declined yet so everything must be fine. My parents are lucky I was too lazy to go through a rebellious phase. My whole life is just “oh ok” *puts selfie […]
Bad Decisions, Elephant Picks Up Trash, and 20 Silly Facebook Status Posts
Make someones week, share one of these… 20 Silly Facebook Status Posts: Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas. Why do medications always have side effects like ‘anal leakage’ & ‘suicidal thoughts’? Why not ‘invisibility’ […]
Orphan Baby Goat, Cop Dogs, and 20 Best Status Updates
Make your weekend last longer, share one of these… 20 Best Facebook Status Updates: My life feels like M. Night Shyamalan is directing it because it makes absolutely no sense and I don’t even wanna finish it. You don’t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent’s house. The first rule […]
Christmas Traffic Stop, Appreciating Music, and Great Facebook Status Updates
Make your friends laugh, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: Are the weeks getting longer? How I talk: 25% swearing 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both How much whiskey goes into cookies? I’m new to this whole baking thing. I just asked my 8 year old to quit yelling and he […]
Coke Nativity Scene, I So Pale, & 20 EPIC Facebook Status Updates
Score more likes, share one of these… 20 EPIC Facebook Status Updates: At the rate I’m going, don’t be surprised if I eat Christmas. My anxiety gives me anxiety. I love you a latte. Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know? If at first you don’t succeed, try doing […]