Make someones day, share one of these…
20 Smart Status Updates:
- Adulthood: I haven’t checked my bank account in weeks, but my card hasn’t been declined yet so everything must be fine.
- My parents are lucky I was too lazy to go through a rebellious phase.
- My whole life is just “oh ok”
- *puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
- Boom, crash, the sound of my grades.
- Do you ever have those people that just annoy you so much and you don’t even know why but they just infuriate you?
- Two tips for Christmas:
1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
- It’s amazing what I’m able to get done when I need to do something else.
- A careful driver is one who just saw the car ahead of him get a traffic ticket.
- I don’t like being around people who don’t eat as much as I do.
- That horrible feeling you get when you’re not asleep anymore.
- The older I get, the more I understand someone’s desire to just say-“F-ck it. I’m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge.”
- Decided to make a life altering decision today…. When I think of it I’ll let you know.
- I don’t like who I am when I see a wasp.
- That awkward moment when you don’t understand the feeling that you’re feeling.
- Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
- Yes, I’m wearing sunglasses inside. No, I don’t wanna talk about it.
- I put on a layer of fat for the winter. Unfortunately, I put it on in the winter of ’98.
- I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
- One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.
The Internets Most Guilty Dog Strikes Again:
That’s one guilty doggie 🙂 he clearly knows he’s been caught red… lipped! Share if you enjoyed.