Make someones week, share one of these…
20 Silly Facebook Status Posts:
- Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
- Why do medications always have side effects like ‘anal leakage’ & ‘suicidal thoughts’? Why not ‘invisibility’ or ‘spontaneous orgasms’?
- What do sleeping and sex have in common? I’m not getting nearly enough of either.
- Next time I open the door for someone and they aren’t courteous enough to say thank you or acknowledge that I did something nice for them, I’m going to rip them back out the door and say try again!
- Man: You look pretty today.
Woman: Did I look bad yesterday? It was my hair wasn’t it? You think I’m fat.
- It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
- If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
- Psychopaths and Eskimos are the only groups of people who can comfortably sleep with socks on.
- If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.
- That’s a horrible idea. What time?
- If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
- That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent.”
- Sometimes God takes you through troubled waters, not to drown you but to cleanse you..
- This would look great on you. *points at self
- The heart wants what the liquor store has.
- Love is just a bunch of feelings put into four letters.
- This patience thing takes forever.
- People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
- Costco: The most expensive place in the world to save money.
- Dogs eat “dog food” everyday and it has everything their bodies need, why isn’t there a human equivalent to “dog food”?
Elephant Picks Up Trash:
What an amazing elephant. Just trying to make the world a better place, one day at a time 🙂 Please feel free to share if you enjoyed.
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