Bad Decisions, Elephant Picks Up Trash, and 20 Silly Facebook Status Posts

Make someones week, share one of these…

20 Silly Facebook Status Posts:

  1. Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
  2. Why do medications always have side effects like ‘anal leakage’ & ‘suicidal thoughts’? Why not ‘invisibility’ or ‘spontaneous orgasms’?
  3. What do sleeping and sex have in common? I’m not getting nearly enough of either.
  4. Next time I open the door for someone and they aren’t courteous enough to say thank you or acknowledge that I did something nice for them, I’m going to rip them back out the door and say try again!
  5. Man: You look pretty today.
    Woman: Did I look bad yesterday? It was my hair wasn’t it? You think I’m fat.
  6. It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
  7. If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
  8. Psychopaths and Eskimos are the only groups of people who can comfortably sleep with socks on.
  9. If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.
  10. That’s a horrible idea. What time?
  11. If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
  12. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent.”
  13. Sometimes God takes you through troubled waters, not to drown you but to cleanse you..
  14. This would look great on you. *points at self
  15. The heart wants what the liquor store has.
  16. Love is just a bunch of feelings put into four letters.
  17. This patience thing takes forever.
  18. People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
  19. Costco: The most expensive place in the world to save money.
  20. Dogs eat “dog food” everyday and it has everything their bodies need, why isn’t there a human equivalent to “dog food”?

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Elephant Picks Up Trash:

What an amazing elephant. Just trying to make the world a better place, one day at a time 🙂 Please feel free to share if you enjoyed.

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