Make someones day, share one of these… 20 Laughable Facebook Statuses: My idea of flirting is being as sarcastic as humanly possible and seeing if you can handle it. Coffee before talkie. I couldn’t be fake about anything if I tried. My facial expressions would never allow it. I owed blockbuster late fees. My game […]
Bribing Gravity, Ambulances, & 20 Hilarious Facebook Status Updates
Make Monday fun for someone, share one of these.. 20 Hilarious Facebook Status Updates: I’m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body. You had me at hello…oh you weren’t talking to me. Oxford Dictionary in […]
Speed Reload, Texting Tone, & Top 20 Weekend Status Updates
Make your weekend last longer, share one of these.. The Top 20 Weekend Status Updates: What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again. Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, “I like where I […]
Life’s Too Short, Hypnotize, & 20 Classic Facebook Statuses
Make someones day, share one of these… 20 Classic Facebook Statuses: Just bought $200 worth of groceries. Ordered pizza because I’m exhausted after buying all the groceries. *forgets what I’m talking about halfway through a sentence* Before coffee: Hates nearly everybody. After coffee: feels better about hating everybody. I never realize how much I swear until […]
Fridge Food, Fetch the Cat, and Clever Status Posts
Score more likes, share one of these.. 20 Clever Facebook Status Posts: I’m only as strong as the coffee I drink. Be the person your dog thinks you are. How do people rap?? I can’t even talk without messing it up. I say idk a lot, but trust me I be knowin’ “Doing fine. Here’s […]
Dog Tastes Lemon, CameraRoll, & 20 Witty Statuses.
Tuesday can be funny, share one of these.. 20 Witty Facebook Statuses: Russia didn’t consider beer to be alcohol until 2011. It was previously classified as a soft drink. What if ghosts say “Boo” because they only haunt people they don’t like, and all they do is “Boo” them from the afterlife. So it’s not […]