Dog Tastes Lemon, CameraRoll, & 20 Witty Statuses.

Tuesday can be funny, share one of these..

20 Witty Facebook Statuses:

  1. Russia didn’t consider beer to be alcohol until 2011. It was previously classified as a soft drink.
  2. What if ghosts say “Boo” because they only haunt people they don’t like, and all they do is “Boo” them from the afterlife. So it’s not to scare you, it’s to show that they think you suck.
  3. I need something that’s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
  4. Takes a break from doing nothing
    * ah I really deserved this
  5. Thank the good lortayyy for my phone screen not cracking yet even though I’ve dropped my phone so many times.
  6. Me: What could possibly go wrong?
    Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.
  7. Ultimately, I hope that wherever my bobby pins go, they’re happy.
  8. I own 8 pairs of yoga pants. I’ve never done yoga a day in my life.
  9. My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.
  10. Why is there a country called Turkey and an animal called turkey when the two have nothing to do with each other?
  11. It may be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I’m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
  12. How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
  13. Alcohol is like laxatives for constipated thoughts. The more you drink, the more shit that comes out your mouth.
  14. Imagine being so rich you put more than 1/4 tank of gas in your car at a time.
  15. As we get closer and closer to the end of this sentence, I think it’s important that we lower our expectations.
  16. One of the most expensive things you’ll ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.
  17. You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
  18. Eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
  19. It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
  20. Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Golden Tastes Lemon for First Time:

That dog can dance better than me! Feel free to like/share if you enjoyed.

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