Get over hump day, share one of these.. 20 Witty Status Updates: I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still. I really would love to see two mimes arguing. If a white girl falls in the forest and no one is around to omg, does […]
Kid Logic, Pope Pizza, & Top 20 Status Updates
From this week on Facebook.. Top 20 Status Updates: I thought I made up “the floor is lava.” It never occurred to me that every child knows what it is. Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket just remember that. If there are 1 billion people better than you at something, you’re still […]
Responsibility, Dog Escape, & 20 Gut Busting Status Updates
Make your way through Monday, share one of these.. 20 Gut Busting Facebook Status Updates: I’m 100% done with today and about 72% done with tomorrow. I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time. Figuring out that you’ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really […]
Spongebob Bass Pants, Batman, & Top 20 Weekend Status Posts
Make your weekend last longer.. Top 20 Weekend Status Posts: Don’t try calling me back after you miss my call. I make 3 calls a year. You blew it. I’m simultaneously the nicest and meanest person you’ll ever meet. Asking someone a question used to be a good way to start a conversation. Now that […]
Audacity, Bored on a Plane, & 20 Clever Facebook Statuses
It’s almost Friday, make someone smile share one of these.. 20 Clever Status Updates: I read, like, 2 articles about basketball, so I’m feeling super confident about my bracket. “You home?” -scariest text you can get Me: Treat yo self My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF There are plenty of fish in the […]
Brain is Stupid, Bass Kid, & 20 Silly Status Updates
Get over hump day, share one of these.. 20 Silly Status Updates: Home. Where I can look ugly and enjoy it. Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout. I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of […]