From this week on Facebook..
Top 20 Status Updates:
- I thought I made up “the floor is lava.” It never occurred to me that every child knows what it is.
- Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket just remember that.
- If there are 1 billion people better than you at something, you’re still in the top 15% for that thing.
- I have never once hit the space bar while watching a YouTube video with the intention of scrolling halfway down the page.
- I just now realized the connection between the words “timid” and “intimidate”
- In 80 years or so, Facebook and Twitter will be a hub for the thoughts of the dead.
- Whenever you say something happened for a reason, don’t be surprised when I slap you in the face. That was supposed to happen.
- That awkward moment when you have an awkward conversation, then replay it over and over in your head later.
- I’ve stolen pens from the bank. Technically I’ve robbed a bank.
- Apple’s iPhone is the reason I didn’t feel the need to carry around a watch anymore. Now they want me to buy a watch.
- I’m trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.
- Our hair turning gray is like our body running out of ink.
- Dr. Pepper might be a woman and you should be ashamed that you’ve never considered that until this very moment.
- 1990 is as far away as 2040
- Why is there no adult Easter egg hunt!? A hunt where inside the plastic eggs are drink tickets for a beer garden. And brunch would be served. It would be glorious.
- Procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due.
- “Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
- I like to push my body to the limit, but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can I eat before I’m unable to move way.
- I wonder how many times we forgive someone just because we don’t want to lose them even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.
- Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
The Pope Accepts a Pizza from the Pope-Mobile..
This Pope is all sorts of awesome! Taking a pizza on the go like that, mad respect.