Kid Logic, Pope Pizza, & Top 20 Status Updates

From this week on Facebook..

Top 20 Status Updates:

1. I thought I made up “the floor is lava.” It never occurred to me that every child knows what it is.
2. Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket just remember that.
3. If there are 1 billion people better than you at something, you’re still in the top 15% for that thing.
4. I have never once hit the space bar while watching a YouTube video with the intention of scrolling halfway down the page.
5. I just now realized the connection between the words “timid” and “intimidate”
6. In 80 years or so, Facebook and Twitter will be a hub for the thoughts of the dead.
7. Whenever you say something happened for a reason, don’t be surprised when I slap you in the face. That was supposed to happen.
8. That awkward moment when you have an awkward conversation, then replay it over and over in your head later.
9. I’ve stolen pens from the bank. Technically I’ve robbed a bank.
10. Apple’s iPhone is the reason I didn’t feel the need to carry around a watch anymore. Now they want me to buy a watch.
11. I’m trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.
12. Our hair turning gray is like our body running out of ink.
13. Dr. Pepper might be a woman and you should be ashamed that you’ve never considered that until this very moment.
14. 1990 is as far away as 2040
15. Why is there no adult Easter egg hunt!? A hunt where inside the plastic eggs are drink tickets for a beer garden. And brunch would be served. It would be glorious.
16. Procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due.
17. “Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
18. I like to push my body to the limit, but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can I eat before I’m unable to move way.
19. I wonder how many times we forgive someone just because we don’t want to lose them even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.
20. Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

The Pope Accepts a Pizza from the Pope-Mobile..

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S52TNS_BZE0[/youtube]

This Pope is all sorts of awesome! Taking a pizza on the go like that, mad respect.