Get over hump day, share one of these..
20 Witty Status Updates:
- I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
- I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
- If a white girl falls in the forest and no one is around to omg, does she even?
- My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
- I can look dead in your face while you’re talking, and not hear a damn thing you said.
- I need to start drinking green shit and jogging.
- I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
- Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Except, maybe, a burger and fries.
- I’d love to do something today, but I already did something yesterday.
- I need to take a day…..or four.
- Kill first, ask questions later. What kind of bug was it?
- Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
- A group of mistakes is called a life.
- I want time to play games, snack, and nap. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
- Every group of friends has a guy who they only call by their last name.
- A mother’s sacrifice is not having a child. It’s 9 months with no wine.
- How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
- That awkward moment when you laugh so hard your eyes get water and people think you’re crying.
- I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
- A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.
Crazy Chimp Fight..
Whoa! It’s like the chimp evolved at the 1 minute mark into a super chimp. That was crazy. Share/Like if you enjoyed.
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