Get over hump day, share one of these.. 20 Witty Status Updates: I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still. I really would love to see two mimes arguing. If a white girl falls in the forest and no one is around to omg, does […]
Witty Status Updates
Clean Your Room, Power of Milk, and 20 Witty Status Updates
One of these will make you laugh, guaranteed… 20 Witty Facebook Status Updates: Do you ever hang out with someone, but later realize that it’s not what you wanted to do and then you’re trapped for a few hours? Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves. I’ve been watching a […]
Cat Fishing, People Slinkies, and 20 Witty Status Updates
Make Monday suck less, share these… 20 Witty Status Updates: That awkward moment when you overhear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud. People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested. Sleeping is nice. You forget […]
Interweb Senstation, Lonely Pet, and Witty Status Updates
Clever things to say, share these… 20 Witty Facebook Status Updates: The higher pitched my “hey!” the greater the chance I don’t remember who you are. Dignity: Is that thing you lose when you send someone a second text before they’ve answered the first. If you met my friends, you would understand. I work hard […]
Hungry Hippos, Doggie Tempers, and Witty Status Updates
Get more likes, share these… Witty Facebook Status Updates: Anybody else just lay in bed making mental movies of perfect scenarios in life? True love is when you buy the hard copy of an album even though you’ve already illegally downloaded it. Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO […]
Bear Grylls, Baby Polar Bear, and Witty Status Updates
Score more likes, share some… Witty Facebook Status Updates: If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle. Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else. Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come […]