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Witty Facebook Status Updates:
- Anybody else just lay in bed making mental movies of perfect scenarios in life?
- True love is when you buy the hard copy of an album even though you’ve already illegally downloaded it.
- Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
- IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, come sit by me and we can make fun of people together.
- I procrastinate so much I procrastinate the actual procrastination.
- I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
- I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘screw everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities.
- I was cursed with expensive taste and no money.
- Teachers call it “going to the bathroom” We call it “I’m bored. I’m leaving.”
- Do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other crazy galaxy of swirls and patterns?
- My entire life is just me “winging it”
- Current emotion: I need money.
- Look, I know you have your “swag on” but can you walk a little bit faster?
- “k”, “ok”, and “okay” are 3 very different things
- Please don’t ever speak again. You are essentially an oxygen thief.
- I’m not shy. I’m just very good at figuring out who’s worth talking to.
- Text me first so I know it’s real.
- “can u not” has been my mental response to almost everything that happens these days
- A big shoutout to all those people who write answers in textbooks.
- I love the feeling when someone cancels plans that you didn’t want to attend anyways.
Hungry Hungry Hippos:
We know the feeling. Pass it along.
Doggie Temper Tantrum!
What a cute little Husky 🙂 throws the cutest fit! If you agree, share!