Hungry Hippos, Doggie Tempers, and Witty Status Updates

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Witty Facebook Status Updates:

  1. Anybody else just lay in bed making mental movies of perfect scenarios in life?
  2. True love is when you buy the hard copy of an album even though you’ve already illegally downloaded it.
  3. Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
  4. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, come sit by me and we can make fun of people together.
  5. I procrastinate so much I procrastinate the actual procrastination.
  6. I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
  7. I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘screw everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities.
  8. I was cursed with expensive taste and no money.
  9. Teachers call it “going to the bathroom” We call it “I’m bored. I’m leaving.”
  10. Do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other crazy galaxy of swirls and patterns?
  11. My entire life is just me “winging it”
  12. Current emotion: I need money.
  13. Look, I know you have your “swag on” but can you walk a little bit faster?
  14. “k”, “ok”, and “okay” are 3 very different things
  15. Please don’t ever speak again. You are essentially an oxygen thief.
  16. I’m not shy. I’m just very good at figuring out who’s worth talking to.
  17. Text me first so I know it’s real.
  18. “can u not” has been my mental response to almost everything that happens these days
  19. A big shoutout to all those people who write answers in textbooks.
  20. I love the feeling when someone cancels plans that you didn’t want to attend anyways.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Hungry Hungry Hippos:

hungry hungry hippos


We know the feeling. Pass it along.

Doggie Temper Tantrum!


What a cute little Husky 🙂 throws the cutest fit! If you agree, share!

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