Bear Grylls, Baby Polar Bear, and Witty Status Updates

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Witty Facebook Status Updates:

  1. If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
  2. Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
  3. Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
  4. That awkward moment when you can’t tell twins apart.
  5. If somebody’s presence does not add value to your life..Then their absence should make no difference!
  6. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.
  7. If you don’t go after it, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you dont step forward, you’ll always be in the same place.
  8. I hate when you haven’t heard from someone in a long time and then they ask you to do them a favor… how about you do me a favor and forget my number?
  9. “I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.
  10. How can you call it love when you’re crying more than smiling.
  11. Fun Fact: There’s more time spent installing Adobe updates than the actual use of Adobe.
  12. The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
  13. You can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake. It’s a choice.
  14. Friendships are like wine, no matter how you careful you pick the grapes, some wines turn to vinegar and others turn into vintage aged treasures.
  15. I changed all my passwords to “incorrect” so when I forget them, the computer will say “your password is incorrect”
  16. If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.
  17. I can’t wait ’til I’m rich enough to throw things away that accidentally fall in the toilet.
  18. Silence is a girl’s loudest cry. You can always tell she’s really hurt when she starts ignoring you.
  19. I like the night sky more than anything else in this world, its the only place where chaos is so peaceful.
  20. If gas gets any more expensive I’ll have to file for tankruptcy!

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Baby Polar Bear:

Rawr! Adorable times twenty 🙂 Share this little cutie for a boatload of likes & comments.

Bear Grylls Makes Airplane Safety Video, and it’s Awesome:

Props to Air New Zealand for commissioning such an entertaining commercial. That could quite literally save lives! Pass it along, mate!

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.