More likes per share, use these…
Funny Facebook Status Updates:
- If cinderella’s shoe really did fit perfectly, then why exactly did it fall off in the first place?
- You know it’s real love when one of you leaves the room and the other one pauses the movie without being asked.
- That awkward moment when you’re talking to yourself and start to smile like an idiot, because you’re so hilarious.
- I hate it when I say something funny, and then someone says it louder and gets all the credit.
- The sad moment you lose a chip in the dip so you send in a recon chip in and that breaks too.
- Who else just absolutely can not sleep with socks on?
- That WTF moment when your toothpaste does a suicide dive off of your toothbrush
- If you LIKE this status someone you hate will step on a lego.
- Relationships are like fat people, most of them don’t work out.
- I watch so much of the Investigation Discovery show, I can kill you and make it look like the Easter Bunny did it.
- Facebook should change the relationship status “It’s complicated” to ”It’s confusing and stressful and we’re seeing other people.”
- Losing: it’s like winning, but with more experience.
- I have benefits if anybody needs a friend.
- So, it turns out that pessimists live longer than optimists. This sucks.
- Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
- 9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why she said “He’s thirsty and likes to lick himself.” I couldn’t argue with that.
- May your friends respect you, Your troubles neglect you, Your family protect you, And negativity not affect you.
- “Stalking” is such a strong word; I like to look at it as “Intense research on an individual”
- Wonder if the government is going to issue fuel stamps now to the needy, I need to be on that program.
- I love how in scary movies how the person yells out “hello” as if the killer is gonna say “yeah I’m in the kitchen” “want a sandwhich”
We’ll be seeing a lot of these on Instagram soon.
So many Kitties, So much cuteness. Must. Share.