Make someone smile, share one of these..
20 Clever Status Updates:
- If age is just an attitude, I could use an attitude adjustment.
- It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible.
- I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
- I wonder how many times we forgive someone just because we don’t want to lose them even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.
- perks of being friends with me: I’ll never get sick of u pointing out dogs
cons of being friends with me: I’ll point out every dog we pass
- I don’t have abs. I have flabs.
- WHO THE F*CK TOOK MY…..oh here it is.
- Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
- Me: *gets stressed over life*
Me: *doesn’t care anymore*
Me: *gets stressed over the fact that I don’t care anymore*
- True love is when ur pet comes to ur room on its own
- Me: okay lets start this homework
*2 hours later*
Me: okay lets start this homework
- My brain has too many tabs open
- Looking for a once in a lifetime experience? Go skydiving with no parachute.
- That Moment When you realize you might get into credit card debt over the shopping list for your new diet.
- If you liked “These Boots Are Made for Walkin” youll enjoy other hits like “This Toaster Toasts Things” and “Whats the Phone Number for 911”
- So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass.
- I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
- “whatever, I’m done talking about this”
*5 minutes later*
“and you know what else-“
- Be careful who you call your friends…I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
- How many times do I have to type haha before my phone stops autocorrecting to gaga?
Little Kid Gets Upset Her Grandma Used the Word “Poop”:
That’s a quite articulate little girl. She really doesn’t appreciate when someone uses potty mouth.
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