Sassy Kid, Sad Cats, & 20 Clever Status Updates

Make someone smile, share one of these..

20 Clever Status Updates:

  1. If age is just an attitude, I could use an attitude adjustment.
  2. It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible.
  3. I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
  4. I wonder how many times we forgive someone just because we don’t want to lose them even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.
  5. perks of being friends with me: I’ll never get sick of u pointing out dogs
    cons of being friends with me: I’ll point out every dog we pass
  6. I don’t have abs. I have flabs.
  7. WHO THE F*CK TOOK MY…..oh here it is.
  8. Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
  9. Me: *gets stressed over life*
    Me: *doesn’t care anymore*
    Me: *gets stressed over the fact that I don’t care anymore*
  10. True love is when ur pet comes to ur room on its own
  11. Me: okay lets start this homework
    *2 hours later*
    Me: okay lets start this homework
  12. My brain has too many tabs open
  13. Looking for a once in a lifetime experience? Go skydiving with no parachute.
  14. That Moment When you realize you might get into credit card debt over the shopping list for your new diet.
  15. If you liked “These Boots Are Made for Walkin” youll enjoy other hits like “This Toaster Toasts Things” and “Whats the Phone Number for 911”
  16. So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass.
  17. I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
  18. “whatever, I’m done talking about this”
    *5 minutes later*
    “and you know what else-“
  19. Be careful who you call your friends…I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
  20. How many times do I have to type haha before my phone stops autocorrecting to gaga?

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Little Kid Gets Upset Her Grandma Used the Word “Poop”:

That’s a quite articulate little girl. She really doesn’t appreciate when someone uses potty mouth.

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