Audacity, Bored on a Plane, & 20 Clever Facebook Statuses

It’s almost Friday, make someone smile share one of these..

20 Clever Status Updates:

  1. I read, like, 2 articles about basketball, so I’m feeling super confident about my bracket.
  2. “You home?” -scariest text you can get
  3. Me: Treat yo self
    My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF
  4. There are plenty of fish in the sea…I just suck at fishing.
  5. At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
  6. Keep calm and put your bitchface on.
  7. I could use some minions.
  8. I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
  9. No hair tie on my wrist = might as well be naked.
  10. Unless you’re caffeinated and I can drink you, I’m not interested.
  11. That’s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
  12. How is McDonald’s breakfast delivery not a thing yet?I can order a wife from another country but I can’t get someone to bring me a f*cking egg mcmuffin.
  13. In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
  14. 2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
  15. Quitting a person is much like quitting cigarettes. You’ll crave them at first.. but eventually they’ll make you wanna puke.
  16. Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
  17. You can say what you like about Kleptomaniacs. They can take it.
  18. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.
  19. I don’t talk to myself. My dog is generally around.
  20. If you have to catch something contagious. choose laughter. It’s the best!

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Next time you’re bored on a plane try this..

And that my friends is how techno is made 🙂 Haha, truthfully it’s better than a lot of songs you hear on the radio these days. Feel free to pass along to your traveler friends.

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