Get over hump day, share one of these..
20 Silly Status Updates:
- Home. Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
- Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
- I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of them.
- I wish I could afford the taste I have.
- Teacher: *hands me a worksheet*
Me: *autographs it and hands it back* always happy to meet a fan
- My idea of flirting is being as sarcastic as humanly possible and seeing if you can handle it.
- That awkward moment when your friend is getting yelled at by their parents, so you just sit there and look at your phone in silence.
- There’s nothing like feeling fat to make you want to PIZZA.
- It’s okay that this is my 5th cup of coffee, right??
- Based on how much I love my dog, I’ve realized I’m going to be one of “those” parents.
- Hand sanitizer = cut finder
- Coffee and mascara do magical things.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one’s for you.
- A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
- Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
- There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
- I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
- Calm the f*ck down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.
- Shit’s spiraling out of control and I’m all like “wheeeee.”
- So many feelings fit in just one sigh.
Do You Hear That Bass, Mom?
LOL! Get it kiddo 🙂 Feel free to like/share if you enjoyed.