Life’s Too Short, Hypnotize, & 20 Classic Facebook Statuses

543

Make someones day, share one of these…

20 Classic Facebook Statuses:

Just bought $200 worth of groceries. Ordered pizza because I’m exhausted after buying all the groceries.
*forgets what I’m talking about halfway through a sentence*
Before coffee: Hates nearly everybody.
After coffee: feels better about hating everybody.
I never realize how much I swear until I’m in a situation where I can’t.
I like to finish other people’s sentences because
my version is better.
I’ve mastered the art of pretending to be tired instead of admitting I’m sad.
Trying to train my liver for St. Patrick’s Day. #responsibilities
I would hire someone to play with my hair.
You sure sing a lot for someone who can’t.
I remember too many words to the song Sk8er Boi.
It’s shocking that Starbucks hasn’t added “IV bag” to the list of sizes.
That moment when you realize your day was a complete waste of makeup.
I can confirm that crying is an actual step in the process of doing math.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
I’m getting my demons some exorcise equipment.
You had me at 0 mutual friends.
So many village idiots. So few dragons.
It’s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!