Grammar Police, Fly Invades Touchscreen, & 20 Funny Status Updates

Be the local Facebook Celebrity this weekend by posting these…

Funny Status Updates:

  1. I’m almost bored enough to clean.  Keyword being ALMOST. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. I’m cle’a[ m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.
  3. Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision.
  4. Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when the person across the aisle is reading it?
  5. A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.
  6. I’m really a very persuasive person. I can convince myself of anything.
  7. I was thinking I should see a psychic, so I figure a really good one should be calling any day now.
  8. A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
  9. LIKE IF you put things in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  10. The only place where success comes before work is the Dictionary.
  11. I’m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
  12. Ideas won’t work unless You do.
  13. Life takes it’s toll. Have exact change ready !
  14. The awkward moment when someone catches you staring at them.
  15. My day is not complete until I terrify a complete stranger.
  16. A man’s life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.
  17. Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
  18. Do deaf mathematicians speak in sine language?
  19. The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  20. It’s amazing how having your own laptop automatically makes you stay up at least two hours later than normal while still achieving absolutely nothing.

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

Grammar Hypocrites on Facebook:

Grammar Police on Facebook

Bug Flys on a Touch Screen, Awesomeness Follows:


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