Funniest Statuses for the Weekend!

The world famous weekend wrap -up is here and we’ve got something for everyone.  Share our statuses with some good friends and you’ll get some guaranteed laughs!

The Best Status Updates for this Weekend:

  • I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
  • I Know What You Did Last Summer. You Posted It To Facebook. And You Do Not Seem To Understand How To Use The Privacy Controls.
  • Evolution is just nature’s way of issuing upgrades.
  • I’m stuck to the couch. I think I’m half man half sofa now. Just call me a mofa.
  • What if the label had fallen off and you didn’t know it was a can of worms?
  • I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car’s horn to sound like gunfire.
  • Officer I know I ran that red light but it’s okay I’ll just stop twice at the next one. Are we cool? ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I went to a therapy group to help me cope with loneliness, but no one else turned up.
  • 4 out of 5 dentists agree: Dentist #5 is a real jerk.
  • Silence is having nothing to say and saying it.
  • I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Dieters live life in the fasting lane.
  • Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
  • Sow your wild oats on Saturday night…then pray for crop failure on Sunday.

Funny Picture to Post:

That is one BUFF Kitty!  Post that one on your Facebook Wall and watch the funny comments roll in.

Funny Video to Post:


Bonus Awesome Link: Hangover 2 Trailer: The Wolfpack Is Back!

Have a safe weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus.