The world famous weekend wrap -up is here and we’ve got something for everyone. Share our statuses with some good friends and you’ll get some guaranteed laughs!
The Best Status Updates for this Weekend:
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
- I Know What You Did Last Summer. You Posted It To Facebook. And You Do Not Seem To Understand How To Use The Privacy Controls.
- Evolution is just nature’s way of issuing upgrades.
- I’m stuck to the couch. I think I’m half man half sofa now. Just call me a mofa.
- What if the label had fallen off and you didn’t know it was a can of worms?
- I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car’s horn to sound like gunfire.
- Officer I know I ran that red light but it’s okay I’ll just stop twice at the next one. Are we cool? ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- I went to a therapy group to help me cope with loneliness, but no one else turned up.
- 4 out of 5 dentists agree: Dentist #5 is a real jerk.
- Silence is having nothing to say and saying it.
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
Dieters live life in the fasting lane.
- Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night…then pray for crop failure on Sunday.
Funny Picture to Post:
That is one BUFF Kitty! Post that one on your Facebook Wall and watch the funny comments roll in.
Funny Video to Post:
Bonus Awesome Link: Hangover 2 Trailer: The Wolfpack Is Back!
Have a safe weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus.