Fantastic Ideas for Funny Status Updates

Post these hilarious Status Updates and get tons of comments & likes…

Funny Statuses for FB:

  • Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
  • When in doubt, poke it with a stick.
  • Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
  • I have an on again off again relationship with clothing.
  • You have the right to remain silent. So please shut up.
  • I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they mess up I will just hit them all at once. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • The only thing keeping me from driving off this bridge is the insurance rate increase if I survive.
  • It is far better to be alone, than to wish you were.
  • There’s always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you.
  • Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
  • I feel like a 20-year-old. But there’s never one around.
  • Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
  • Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”

Funny Picture to Post:

I don't know if your new friend can come in.

I don’t know if your new friend can come in.

Funny Video to Post:


Watch your pens around those Czechs!

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!