Welcome back! Updated daily with the funniest statuses around town…
Funny Statuses for Facebook:
- I cheated on a test. Yeah, I Tiger Woods’d a test.
- After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I’m the most interesting man in the world.
- In summary, my life is a white button down shirt at an all you can eat spaghetti buffet.
- What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook.
- Currently working on an app for lonely people called “Words With Cats”.
- If I ever become president, everyone will recieve a pet unicorn and a midget sidekick.
- I solve many of my problems by simply ignoring them.
- Dear Chiquita: I have your new slogan: “Constipated? Try a banana! Not like that, silly!”
- When I grow up I want to be a kid. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- I just took the garbage out. In 3D.
- Prison seems to have it all. Free food, free housing, free sex.
- I put the ‘toast’ in ‘toaster’. Then I take the ‘toast’ out of the ‘toaster’.
- If I knit you a sweater, Computer, will you stop freezing?
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
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Post this picture of a super cute newborn polar bear and get tons of comments/likes:
Funny Video to Post:
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