Status Updates that make you LOL

Grab tons of comments & likes from your FB friends by posting these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App – v3.0 coming soon!)
  • Facebook is for the people you know. Twitter is for the people you wish you knew & MySpace is for the people you FORGOT about.
  • Do my FB friends in England read my tweets in an English accent? Because I write them in a Jamaican that must be weird..mon
  • Billion Dollar Idea: Child-Cancelling Headphones
  • Rihanna & Britney are collaborating I hear. 1 can’t sing live, the other doesn’t even try anymore. They should start a group called LIP’SYNC
  • I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
  • I’m not awake until I’ve had 2 cups of coffee and a nap. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you.
  • What doesn’t kill you might come back to finish the job off so keep your wits about you.
  • Please, I can’t handle any plays on words tonight. I just had an appundectomy.
  • “How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?” “It’s a really obscure number, you probably haven’t heard of it.”
  • How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can’t even get two kids to brush their teeth.
  • Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
  • My misery likes tequila, not company.
  • No, YOUR stupid.

Funny Picture to Post:

Please, sir, I want some more.

Please, sir, I want some more.

Funny Video to Post:


Please, don’t play loud rap music for your 2 year olds… but, if you do… put it on Youtube.

Bonus Funny Video: A bipartisan group of legislators won’t give up on Oregon

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!