Make your Facebook Friends laugh by posting these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • Without Facebook, I probably wouldn’t have wished you a happy birthday.
  • I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  • Handy Guide to Modern Science:
    1. If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s biology.
    2. If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
    3. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
  • Where do all the characters go that you type on the keyboard before you realize the cursor isn’t in the box?
  • I’m gonna invent a “Like Collar”. It’s basically a dog collar that shocks at excessive use of the word “like”
  • Have you ever unliked your friends status b/c you get tired of the notifications popping up every time someone comments on their status? ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!
  • Facebook should change ” It’s complicated ” to ” It’s confusing & stressful. “
  • Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.
  • I am struck by the ill. Bring me the Quils, both Day and Ny.
  • The middle class does not exist. If you believe you are part of the middle class, it just means you’re rich and insecure or poor and misinformed.
  • At least a stalker is there for you.
  • Moon: Earth’s night light.
  • A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )

Funny Picture to Post:

I'm flying!

Funny Video to Post:

All of nature plays together… except for the predators that is!

Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!