Score more likes, share these…
20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses:
- When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work. How do you know so little about doors? Dumb ass.
- I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
- I’m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837.
- Just once I wish they’d open a unit on storage wars & a bear jumps out & mauls Dave right as he’s saying YEPPPPPPP
- It’s not you, it’s your bathroom mirror pics.
- Beauty without intelligence is a masterpiece painted on a napkin.
- I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
- Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
- All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
- If your Facebook status requires me to hit a “continue reading” button, it’s not happening.
- It scares me that some of you have children.
- Rule #1 If you are a passenger in my car, and I turn the radio up, DO NOT TALK!!!!!
- I think I just saw the Mucinex family walking out of Wal-Mart.
- Just finished my book, 792 pages. That’s a lot of coloring!!
- I try to live by two rules: 1. Don’t make fun of stupid people (they cant help it) 2. Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you)
- If I ever get Alzheimer’s, I want someone to put a cape on me and tell me every morning that I used to be Superman.
- Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, a lot of which you really don’t want to see.
- They say you’ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there’s some middle step I’ve been missing?
- No means no! Except when it comes to a Facebook invite then “maybe” also means “no.”
- I don’t have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow.
Just Can’t Get In, No Matter How Hard I Try…
Goalie does the “Wobble” dance and it’s awesome…
He was better than the dancers! That was awesome 🙂
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.