Facebook Status Updates

Dog Magic, That One Friend, and Clever Status Ideas

Editorial Team

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Get over hump day, share these…

20 Clever Facebook Status Ideas:

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.
Nintendo should handle the educational system; I don’t remember half the crap I was supposed to have learned in high school, but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
Too bored to stay home. Too lazy to go out.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn’t invite me over.
When you’re with the right woman, forever doesn’t seem long enough.
When the girl working the counter says “would you like fries with that?” say..”are you calling me fat??” then burst into tears. Free meal.
Police Helicopters: Proof that pigs can fly.
“Dad, I’m hungry.”
“Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.”
Every time.
Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.
There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
society: be yourself
society: no not like that
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
I know you shouldn’t text and drive but I’ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
I’m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
My awareness of my own stupidity makes me smarter than you know.
My daughter borrowed my phone & saw all of your statuses and comments…. I expect all of you to chip in to pay for her therapy.
Step aside coffee. This is a job for alcohol.
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
Don’t you love that moment when you’re cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide?