This week on FB…
Top 20 Facebook Status Updates:
- The worst time to hear I told you so is when you end up saying it to yourself.
- Think before you speak… and keep it simple. Nobody wants to hear your life story.
- At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
- When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
- Next time the bank calls me to tell me I’m overdrawn, I’m gonna tell them “We are aware of the situation and are working to repair it”.
- If weed was ever legalized, I can’t wait to see the commercials…
- If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he’s trying to bust a move.
- Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
- I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
- There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
- Every man has his asshole moments just like every woman has her crazy moments. We’re even. So hug it out and move on.
- “A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
- Love many, trust few, and learn to paddle your own canoe.
- Ever have an argument with yourself and win?….. It’s awesome.
- Sometimes you just see a post and think ” yup its your own fault”
- It was so cold out today i actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up.
- Dear Kids, go to College…it’s the only time it’s acceptable to be drunk and poor.
- No you may not “axe” me a question, I don’t speak Wal-Mart.
- Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
- Is there some unwritten rule that Interstate construction needs to last 30 years?
Free Timeline Covers | Yesterdays Status Updates…
Samuel L. Barkson
Woof, Mofo!
SpiderMan is real… and he. is. AWESOME.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_H2oOFn10[/youtube]
Step your training game up, other superheros. Only 90days till Comic Con, make it happen Cosplay nerds 😉
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