This week on FB…
Top 20 Facebook Status Updates:
- The worst time to hear I told you so is when you end up saying it to yourself.
- Think before you speak… and keep it simple. Nobody wants to hear your life story.
- At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
- When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
- Next time the bank calls me to tell me I’m overdrawn, I’m gonna tell them “We are aware of the situation and are working to repair it”.
- If weed was ever legalized, I can’t wait to see the commercials…
- If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he’s trying to bust a move.
- Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
- I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
- There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
- Every man has his asshole moments just like every woman has her crazy moments. We’re even. So hug it out and move on.
- “A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
- Love many, trust few, and learn to paddle your own canoe.
- Ever have an argument with yourself and win?….. It’s awesome.
- Sometimes you just see a post and think ” yup its your own fault”
- It was so cold out today i actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up.
- Dear Kids, go to College…it’s the only time it’s acceptable to be drunk and poor.
- No you may not “axe” me a question, I don’t speak Wal-Mart.
- Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
- Is there some unwritten rule that Interstate construction needs to last 30 years?
Samuel L. Barkson
SpiderMan is real… and he. is. AWESOME.
Step your training game up, other superheros. Only 90days till Comic Con, make it happen Cosplay nerds 😉