Tibetan Mastiff, Cat Waves At Himself, and Silly Status Updates

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Silly Facebook Status Updates:

  1. You can’t have a relationship without any fights, but you can make your relationship worth the fight.
  2. How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
  3. Watching Netflix before going to bed is the adult equivalent of being read a bedtime story.
  4. Note to self: Never make a sarcastic remark to someone who is really angry, unless you’re prepared to run like hell.
  5. Only kids count sheep to fall asleep. Count your debts, your mistakes, your heartache and cry yourself to sleep like a grownup.
  6. I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
  7. Unsure if life is getting better or the amount of craps I give is decreasing.
  8. I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”. So there will be no more thinking today.
  9. Life’s too short to wake up in a bad mood- I save mine until I get to work.
  10. I never give the wrong answer; sometimes I am simply asked the wrong question.
  11. Whenever I don’t hear from someone in a while I think, “Oh, shit. They found out.”
  12. I don’t know all the state capitals, but I can recite “Dumb and Dumber” word for word.
  13. Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
  14. I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
  15. One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant say out loud.
  16. Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn’t need if you’d stayed single.
  17. I only smoke because there’s a small chance it will kill everybody around me.
  18. Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
  19. That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.
  20. I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Massive Tibetan Mastiff:

Tibetan Mastiff

Jeez, wonder what sort of shampoo that guy uses! Better yet, what do you feed a dog that size?

Cat Waves at Himself:

Conufsed KittEhhhhh! Share if you thought that video was cute 🙂

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