RedBull, Run Around Sue, & Best Facebook Statuses

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20 Best Facebook Statuses:

  1. I got 99 problem and Kim Jong-ain’t-Un.
  2. Move over Weight Watchers, there is a new way to lose weight…It’s the “I can’t afford to buy groceries to feed myself because I just filled my gas tank” diet.
  3. Ever feel about as useful as a white crayon?
  4. I am not a mind reader…Please adjust your communication skills accordingly.
  5. Cops sent me a picture of me speeding through a red light so I sent them a picture of a check. Hope we’re even.
  6. Just found out that I’m 53 Cheetos tall.
  7. Is corn the only thing that’s delicious after it explodes?
  8. So God invented Christian Mingle to hook you up with his pick for you? Doesn’t seem like the best use of his time.
  9. HILARIOUS PRANK: Create a system where people pay thousands of dollars to go to college, to get a job, to pay for having gone to college.
  10. Your bachelor party sucked if the wedding still happened.
  11. Relax, I know what I’m doing. I read half an article about this on About.com
  12. You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
  13. I’m thinking about going out tonight, because the Beastie Boys fought and nearly died for my right to party…
  14. Sarcasm: because apparently beating the shit out of people is illegal.
  15. When a woman crushes your heart, don’t look back. Go accomplish your dreams, life is not a Disney Movie.
  16. Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Wednesday.
  17. “I’ll make 2 trips.” -No Man Ever
  18. Thanks for posting 300 photos of your baby on Facebook… also thanks for reminding me to buy condoms.
  19. Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
  20. I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Redbull Does This….

Energy Drinks

That…is….scary… yet I want to share it.. and so should you!

Run Around Sue:

If you thought that Grandma was dancing… Share it!

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