Cat Relaxing, Cup Song Fail, and Fresh Status Updates

20 New Status Updates EVERY damn day…

Fresh & Funny Facebook Status Updates:

1. I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?
2. Life’s best lessons are learned at the worst times.
3. I’m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn’t work out.
4. I am constantly making the decision between being a good person or being a sarcastic asshole.
5. Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
6. If you made a liquor called Responsibly all your competitors would be legally obligated to advertise for you.
7. The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
8. Let those who do not understand me fear me. Let those who understand me fear themselves.
9. I’d really like to find the person that named the sensitive part of your elbow the “Funny Bone” and punch them in the face. See how funny they think that is.
10. Time for three Rs, refrigerator, recliner and remote!!!!!
11. “I faked all my LOLs.” -A Facebook romance comes to a dramatic end.
12. I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
13. There’s got to be a better way to start the day than by getting up in the morning…
14. Men who don’t understand women fall into two categories: Bachelors and Husbands.
15. Women don’t want to hear what you think…Women want to hear what they think- in a deeper voice.
16. If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
17. I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
18. The way some people find fault, you’d think there was some kind of reward.
19. If I were you, I’d get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.
20. I wish we could get rid of most safety warnings…so Darwin’s law would take place and idiots would be gone.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Cat is Straight Posted Up:

That Cat is straight maxin’ and relaxin’ if you likey…sharey!

Cup Song Fail:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnf1H5IDn5c[/youtube]

LOL! Poor gal 🙂 Guess they didn’t know about national sibling day.