Make your Weekend last longer by posting these….
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
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Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
- You don’t really know someone until you get drunk with them.
- FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was “Snickerboots Fancybasket.”
- Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if cell phones came with tasers? (From Beth V. on WittyStatus)
- I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
- The leading cause of death in mice is Scientists.
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Nobody’s a virgin…life screws us all.
- I don’t care what your gender is. I’m going to call you “dude” either way.
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Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.
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Solid center surrounded by molten layers and a thin crust, the Earth sounds delicious. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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I’m a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
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If your password is your name, you deserve to be hacked.
- FACT: If you don’t own a suit, you get to stay in your twenties forever.
- “Your Computer May Be At Risk” is McAfee Speak for… Feed me $50 more dollars to shut up for a year.
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Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. - When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I’ll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”
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I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
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You can’t spell “listen” without “silent”
Funny Picture to Post:
Funny Video to Post:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OivpEbe1Phc[/youtube]
Haha, poor little doggie! Post that one on your Facebook wall and watch the funny comments/likes come in.
Bonus Funny Video: Funny Monkey Taunting a dog.
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!
