Make your Weekend last longer by posting these….
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
- You don’t really know someone until you get drunk with them.
- FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was “Snickerboots Fancybasket.”
- Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if cell phones came with tasers? (From Beth V. on WittyStatus)
- I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
- The leading cause of death in mice is Scientists.
Nobody’s a virgin…life screws us all.
- I don’t care what your gender is. I’m going to call you “dude” either way.
Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.
Solid center surrounded by molten layers and a thin crust, the Earth sounds delicious. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
I’m a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
If your password is your name, you deserve to be hacked.
- FACT: If you don’t own a suit, you get to stay in your twenties forever.
- “Your Computer May Be At Risk” is McAfee Speak for… Feed me $50 more dollars to shut up for a year.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
- When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I’ll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
You can’t spell “listen” without “silent”
Funny Picture to Post:
Funny Video to Post:
Haha, poor little doggie! Post that one on your Facebook wall and watch the funny comments/likes come in.
Bonus Funny Video: Funny Monkey Taunting a dog.
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!