The World Famous Weekend Wrap-Up!

Make your Weekend last longer by posting these….

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • You don’t really know someone until you get drunk with them.
  • FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was “Snickerboots Fancybasket.”
  • Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if cell phones came with tasers? (From Beth V. on WittyStatus)
  • I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
  • The leading cause of death in mice is Scientists.
  • Nobody’s a virgin…life screws us all.
  • I don’t care what your gender is. I’m going to call you “dude” either way.
  • Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.
  • Solid center surrounded by molten layers and a thin crust, the Earth sounds delicious. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I’m a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
  • If your password is your name, you deserve to be hacked.
  • FACT: If you don’t own a suit, you get to stay in your twenties forever.
  • “Your Computer May Be At Risk” is McAfee Speak for… Feed me $50 more dollars to shut up for a year.
  • Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
    The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
  • When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I’ll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • You can’t spell “listen” without “silent”

Funny Picture to Post:

Epic Dog Portrait

Funny Video to Post:


Haha, poor little doggie!  Post that one on your Facebook wall and watch the funny comments/likes come in.

Bonus Funny Video:  Funny Monkey Taunting a dog.

Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!