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Funny Statuses for Facebook:

  • I would be unstoppable if I could just get started. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • When people ask if they can get me anything, I always ask for a jetpack.
  • If you only speak one language you have no excuse to suck at it.
  • That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!
  • Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
  • I’ve never been good at breakups. Breakdowns, those I got covered.
  • Who was the first to see a cow and think “I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?”
  • I can’t even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Billion Dollar Idea: Child-Cancelling Headphones.
  • Five American states that vaguely resemble Indian cuisine when spelled backwards: Aksala, Nogero, Sasnakra, Ohadi, Hatu.
  • I SAW YOUR COMMENT BEFORE YOU DELETED IT.. LIKE this if it ever happened with you 🙂
  • I’ve just started an online dating site for Siamese twins. It’s called Connect 4.
  • if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP ►► FF (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.

Funny Picture to Post:

this is what happens in hotel rooms.

This is why we can’t go to nice places!

Link of the Day: Snowmobile Ride goes Very Bad, Very Quickly.

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Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos?  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!