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Funny Statuses for Facebook:
- I would be unstoppable if I could just get started. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- When people ask if they can get me anything, I always ask for a jetpack.
- If you only speak one language you have no excuse to suck at it.
- That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!
- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
- I’ve never been good at breakups. Breakdowns, those I got covered.
Who was the first to see a cow and think “I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?”
- I can’t even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Billion Dollar Idea: Child-Cancelling Headphones.
- Five American states that vaguely resemble Indian cuisine when spelled backwards: Aksala, Nogero, Sasnakra, Ohadi, Hatu.
I SAW YOUR COMMENT BEFORE YOU DELETED IT.. LIKE this if it ever happened with you 🙂
- I’ve just started an online dating site for Siamese twins. It’s called Connect 4.
- if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP ►► FF (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
- When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
Funny Picture to Post:
This is why we can’t go to nice places!
Link of the Day: Snowmobile Ride goes Very Bad, Very Quickly.
The Best BABY Videos from Around the web:
Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!