Your weekend just got a little bit awesomer. Post these on Facebook and watch the Comments & Likes pour in…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- Shout out to my EX for making room for something better to come into my life.
- Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
You’re like a slinky – completely useless, but fun to push down stairs.
Whenever I need a moment to myself, I just go on MySpace.
- You’re the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on-line, why does looking at them make me the weird one?
- Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results. In other words, I just logged into Facebook. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” — RIP Bob Marley
- Scissors eviscerates paper. Rock mortally wounds scissors. Luckily for paper, rock has been afraid of the dark since it was a little kid.
If you die on an elevator, be sure to press the UP button.
Constipated people don’t give a crap. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
- In the past, when you were angry with someone you argued with them. Now you just delete them off Facebook.
I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Kitty with Bowtie:
Post that one on your Facebook wall for a landslide of Likes & Comments!
The Never Ending Sneezing Bear:
Poor little guy’s got allergys! Guess it’s that time of the year.
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!