Comical Status Updates, Bow Tie Kitty, and Sneezing Bear

Your weekend just got a little bit awesomer. Post these on Facebook and watch the Comments & Likes pour in…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Shout out to my EX for making room for something better to come into my life.
  • Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for
  • You’re like a slinky – completely useless, but fun to push down stairs.
  • Whenever I need a moment to myself, I just go on MySpace.
  • You’re the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on-line, why does looking at them make me the weird one?
  • Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results. In other words, I just logged into Facebook. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” — RIP Bob Marley
  • Scissors eviscerates paper. Rock mortally wounds scissors. Luckily for paper, rock has been afraid of the dark since it was a little kid.
  • If you die on an elevator, be sure to press the UP button.
  • Constipated people don’t give a crap. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • In the past, when you were angry with someone you argued with them. Now you just delete them off Facebook.
  • I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Feel Good Status of the Day: There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger and live just a little bit better.

Kitty with Bowtie:

Kitty with Bowtie

Post that one on your Facebook wall for a landslide of Likes & Comments!

The Never Ending Sneezing Bear:


Poor little guy’s got allergys! Guess it’s that time of the year.

Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!