Welcome back! Whether you visit our website on your computer, iPhone, iPad, Android, or whatever. One thing’s for certain we’ve got your awesome facebook statuses covered..
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
- When I was little, “I am gonna tell your mom” was the scariest sentence.
- I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
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The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
- There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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The 3 C’s of life…Choice, Chance, Change.. You must make the Choice to take the Chance if u want anything to Change.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Mental Note: Actual notes work better.
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If Snapple comes from the best stuff on earth, then our planet really stinks.
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I love that Facebook keeps me honest by ignoring me when I’m trying too hard. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
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Can we stop with the holidays? I’d like to go 4 days without feeling like I have to get drunk, eat candy or buy someone a present.
Wise Wisdom Status: My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Funny Picture to Post:
That is one shocked puppy! Bonus: Cute Sloth Baby Pic
Remember your first kiss? How cute is this???
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEN-kHe5o_Y[/youtube]
Want more funny status updates, hilarious pics, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!
