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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
- When I was little, “I am gonna tell your mom” was the scariest sentence.
- I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
- There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
The 3 C’s of life…Choice, Chance, Change.. You must make the Choice to take the Chance if u want anything to Change.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Mental Note: Actual notes work better.
If Snapple comes from the best stuff on earth, then our planet really stinks.
I love that Facebook keeps me honest by ignoring me when I’m trying too hard. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
Can we stop with the holidays? I’d like to go 4 days without feeling like I have to get drunk, eat candy or buy someone a present.
Wise Wisdom Status: My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Funny Picture to Post:
That is one shocked puppy! Bonus: Cute Sloth Baby Pic
Remember your first kiss? How cute is this???
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