Make Monday fun, share one of these…
20 Funny Facebook Status Update Ideas:
- I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems.
- When your boss asks why you’re late. Just shrug and say “thug life.” Bosses don’t mess with thug life.
- I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.
- Birth control pills should be for men…it makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
- I’m the type of person who will pretend I can’t hear you when I have my earphones on.
- You can use the time you saved by texting me “k” instead of “ok” to find a new friend.
- I struggle between wanting to stay up late and wanting extra hours of sleep.
- You’re in love? Cool I’m in sweatpants.
- I hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience.
- The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
- When I drink I become everybody’s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I’m sober.
- I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
- Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I’m like here’s another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa.
- I grew up believing I had special knees until finally realizing they weren’t saying knees.
- CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE ALL OF THE TIME.
- Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I’m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
- Remember when our ancestors used to use their mouths to communicate?
- Please stop saying you ‘seen’ something. Some of us are trying to evolve as a species & you’re dragging us down.
- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you.
- Those Box Tops that raise money for schools really should be on wine labels.
Homeless Rapper Has Some Rhymes…
Someone needs to get that guy a recording contract and give him a shot 🙂