Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…
Top Weekend Facebook Status Posts:
- I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems.
- When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: “And so should you!”
- Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
- I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
- “I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.”
- Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
- I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
- You’re not a hoe? So are you like a volunteer prostitute?
- My day so far…
1. Open fridge. Nothing to eat.
2. Open pantry. Nothing to eat.
3. Lower standards and repeat
- Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
- It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
- I hate it when feelings get in the way of smart decisions.
- Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
- You should just fall in love with me already. So I can immediately lose interest and we can both move on with our lives.
- Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
- I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
- Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
- Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he’s a keeper.
- Trying to understand quantum physics. Cause trying to understand women is just too damn hard.
- I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone’s lawns so freshly mowed.
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