Congrats, you made it to the weekend! Share one of these…
Top Facebook Status Updates From This Week:
- It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
- Try randomly complimenting people, because sometimes that will be the only kind words they will hear that day
- Guacamole over everything.
- I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
- Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
- I’d like to see a UPS man fall out of his door-less truck when he takes a corner too fast.
- My favorite iOS8 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I’m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
- Before you can truly love someone else, first you have to love yourself. Then wash your hands.
- It’s a shame my generation was raised on actors and not authors.
- Of course the Dalai Lama’s quotes are all uplifting and optimistic… he’s never been married.
- So let me get this straight. A woman who has fake hair, nails, eyelashes, breasts, lips, buttocks, as well as a fake tan also has the nerve to ask for a real man?
- Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face..
- I’ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.
- I’ve ruined so many good songs on bad memories.
- ALL relationships go through shit. REAL relationships get through shit.
- It’s amazing how ugly beauty can be.
- How many weight watchers points are pot brownies?
- I don’t stumble around when I’m drunk. I fall on the floor and stay there because I have dignity.
- Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl’s hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that we’re out of napkins
How to Avoid Jury Duty…
Something about this guy just makes this hilarious. Share if you enjoyed!