Awkward Moment When, iPhone 6, and Amazing Status Updates

Make today count, share one of these…

20 Amazing Facebook Status Updates:

  1. Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.
  2. Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
  3. Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles “how to read a book.”
  4. My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
  5. I don’t think I meet the height requirement to ride your emotional roller-coaster.
  6. HS Teachers: “There’s still a minute left of class, sit down!”
    College Teachers: “We still have 20 mins left but I’m done teaching so bye”
  7. I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
  8. Her: I just feel like I’m not being heard.
    Me: Definitely. Sounds good babe.
    Her: Are you even listening to me?
    Me: Thats crazy!
  9. If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
  10. I get so overwhelmed whenever I get an iTunes gift card… Like what music do I deem worthy enough to legally purchase?
  11. I’m always quiet and shy the first time you meet me but get to know me and you’ll see I’m an energizer bunny on crack.
  12. Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
  13. That awkward moment when you remember something funny, start smiling like an idiot, everyone stares at you wondering why you’re smiling.
  14. No great story started with someone drinking water.
  15. I’d socialize more but it gets in the way of staying at home and doing what I want.
  16. Your child makes me cherish being single.
  17. When I run, my pace is similar to that of Internet Explorer on a 90’s dial-up connection.
  18. I Googled “Who gives a shit?” My name wasn’t in the search results.
  19. Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone’s mouth while they’re talking?
  20. I love you most when you let me sleep in.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates… | Win an iPad Mini

Kelly Ripa doesn’t think 5.5 inches is big enough…


We are talking about the iPhone 6, right? LOL, that was ridiculous!

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