Make today count, share one of these…
20 Amazing Facebook Status Updates:
- Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.
- Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
- Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles “how to read a book.”
- My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
- I don’t think I meet the height requirement to ride your emotional roller-coaster.
- HS Teachers: “There’s still a minute left of class, sit down!”
College Teachers: “We still have 20 mins left but I’m done teaching so bye”
- I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
- Her: I just feel like I’m not being heard.
Me: Definitely. Sounds good babe.
Her: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Thats crazy!
- If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
- I get so overwhelmed whenever I get an iTunes gift card… Like what music do I deem worthy enough to legally purchase?
- I’m always quiet and shy the first time you meet me but get to know me and you’ll see I’m an energizer bunny on crack.
- Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
- That awkward moment when you remember something funny, start smiling like an idiot, everyone stares at you wondering why you’re smiling.
- No great story started with someone drinking water.
- I’d socialize more but it gets in the way of staying at home and doing what I want.
- Your child makes me cherish being single.
- When I run, my pace is similar to that of Internet Explorer on a 90’s dial-up connection.
- I Googled “Who gives a shit?” My name wasn’t in the search results.
- Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone’s mouth while they’re talking?
- I love you most when you let me sleep in.
Kelly Ripa doesn’t think 5.5 inches is big enough…
We are talking about the iPhone 6, right? LOL, that was ridiculous!