Facebook Status Updates

Forgiveness, Jumping Fitness, and Hilarious Statuses

Editorial Team

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Happy Monday, share these…

Hilarious Facebook Statuses:

I hate it when I eat the last bite and didn’t notice it was the last bite… So I couldn’t mentally prepare myself and get closure.
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts…it would be very creepy.
If I text you first you are probably amazing.
I only accept apologies in cash.
Dear Brain, I need to stop overthinking.
I think I’ve fallen in hate with you.
Life is simple: Don’t be a dick.
The older I get, the more I come to realize that I just don’t care what the hell anyone thinks anymore.
Too tired to finish studying and by finish I mean start.
When I’m quiet:
1) Tired.
2) Don’t have anything to talk about.
3) Over-thinking.
4) Upset.
5) Falling apart.
6) All of the above.
I take the L and R on my headphones seriously.
Life is short, SMILE while you still have teeth.
Hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to apologize to every single person I’ve talked to like I’m really sorry.
Women shed bobby pins.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
I found out that Crossfit is a lot like reverse fight club. Because the first rule of Crossfit is to never shut up about Crossfit.
Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with the ones you’ve lost and then do those things for the ones you still have.
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
We all have baggage. At some point we have to unpack what isn’t relevant anymore, so we can make room for what is.