Make the weekend last longer, share these…
20 Best Status Updates from this Weekend:
- The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
- I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
- Mission Impossible? He’s done four of them now. Let’s call it “Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable”
- I love how old people see me as a technology prodigy. So much praise just for saving a picture to their computer’s desktop.
- Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.
- WHAT IF PEOPLE USED CAPS LOCK FOR EVERYTHING THEN USED LOWERCASE FOR EMPHASIS, THAT WOULD BE really weird.
- Car alarms but for when people get too close to you.
- I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
- Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
- “You’re shitting me!” – Everything you eat.
- I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
- Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.
- Why are there so many commercials for toilet paper? Who is not buying it?
- The easiest way to get a woman’s full attention is to ignore her. That shit really motivates us.
- Last person to like this wins a prize.
- In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
- It’s tough being a people person when you can’t stand most people.
- Unless you’re music, I don’t want to listen to you.
- Sure you can touch my phone. I have nothing to hide … except your dead body if you do.
- I’m convinced that the employees of Ikea were just used to be customers who didn’t know how to get out and just gave up.
Yesterdays Status Updates… | *NEW* Splashy Fish 2 on Android (just like Flappy Bird!)
Pure Happiness = Husky + Massage
Doesn’t get much happier than that! It’s crazy how much that Dog likes it 🙂
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