Shake Your Head, Languages, and Interesting Statuses

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20 Interesting Status Posts:

1. I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
2. The Walking Dead. Or better known as The Running Living.
3. Everything I learned so far about life: It goes on. About love: It never lasts. And about people: they change fast.
4. I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
5. Everybody wants to ride in the limo with you. The trick is to find someone who will take the bus with you when your limo breaks down.
6. Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
7. I’m moody like Squidward. Sometimes selfish like Mr. Crabs. A bit dumb like Patrick. But I’ll be there for you like SpongeBob.
8. That moment, when you and your best friend look at each other and know what you are thinking and both laugh.
9. I can’t get out of bed. These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and If I leave now I might lose their trust.
10. I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew about.
11. I like the part of the day when food happens.
12. A good leader takes a little more than their share of the blame and a little less than their share of the credit.
13. After just waking up..I schedule my day around naps.
14. A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
15. I was watching an infomercial and the first thing it said was “Forget everything you know about tupperware!” So I did. Whew! That’s a load off my mind.
16. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use Facebook and they won’t bother you for weeks.
17. What would happen if a unstoppable force met an immovable object?
18. Beautiful people do not just happen. They creep up from the depths of some really ugly shit.
19. I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.
20. Adulthood is mostly about being tired and wishing you hadn’t made plans.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Languages:

Accurately represents what it’s like to hear someone speaking in another language and you having NO clue what the heck they are talking about. Share if you enjoyed 🙂