Score more likes, with these…
Great Status Posts for Facebook:
- I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous. ( 100K+ Statuses: Funny Status iPhone App 5★ Ratings)
- I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
- Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
- Going to Wal-Mart always reminds me that I hit the genetic lottery.
- That awkward moment when someone gives you a compliment and you can’t think of one in return.
- I don’t think of it as eating grapes, I think of it as preventing future raisins. Some call me a hero.
- Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
- Remember reading books because of Pizza Hut? #90s
- Use your smile to change this world. Don’t let this world change your smile.
- A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know.
- Why are all social networking sites blue? Because it’s the color of the sky and we never go out to see it.
- RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
- If there was an award for laziness, I’d probably send someone to pick it up for me.
- I keep forgetting – which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?
- Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?
- Every good friend once was a stranger.
- Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
- Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.
- It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
- When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
- Eventually we’ll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it.
How’s about this for a CUTE Wave?
Hello’ ello’ there wittle guy! Aren’t you adorable! I bet you’d make millions of peoples days on the interwebs just by being shared, wouldn’t you???
Weird Goats, yes… Goats:
That video was exactly as advertised… weird goats. Now, go forth and immediately share it on your wall for many LIKES and funny comments.