Best Pals, Dog Brings Cat Inside, and Hilarious Statuses

Great one-liner statuses, just for you…

Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:

  • Thank goodness it was Twinkies and not Bacon. ( 100K+ Statuses: Funny Status iPhone App  5★ Ratings)
  • If you see someone using a payphone, there is a 97% chance you can buy drugs from them… Just sayin’
  • That awesome moment when somebody tries to make you jealous and you couldn’t give a crap.
  • A drink a day keeps the Shrink away!
  • So the girl at the local pharmacy asked if I wanted to “hang out and wait for my prescription” I’m like calm down we JUST met! Jeez, some people.
  • Analyzing humour is like analyzing a frog: you can do it, but the frog tends to die in the process.
  • Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
  • God made coke, God made pepsi. God made me, oh so sexy. God made rivers, God made lakes. God made you, well, we all make mistakes.
  • Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
  • A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.
  • I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
  • My maturity level depends on who I’m with.
  • A man from the North Pole that brings presents seems so much more believable than a bunny that hides eggs.
  • I think I’ve found the trouble with our economy. There are far more ways to get into debt, than there are to get out of it.
  • The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
  • 1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness. So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.

Best Pals, in the making:

Dog and Baby become best pals!

Dawwwww, now that’s adorable! Pass this onto your newsfeed for instant LIKE-ification.

Dog Brings Cat Inside…

Well, that’s a first. Thanks again, internet. Now, if only someone could bring me inside. Until then, share and share alike with this soon-to-be viral golden video.

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