Great one-liner statuses, just for you…
Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:
- Thank goodness it was Twinkies and not Bacon. ( 100K+ Statuses: Funny Status iPhone App 5★ Ratings)
- If you see someone using a payphone, there is a 97% chance you can buy drugs from them… Just sayin’
- That awesome moment when somebody tries to make you jealous and you couldn’t give a crap.
- A drink a day keeps the Shrink away!
- So the girl at the local pharmacy asked if I wanted to “hang out and wait for my prescription” I’m like calm down we JUST met! Jeez, some people.
- Analyzing humour is like analyzing a frog: you can do it, but the frog tends to die in the process.
- Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
- God made coke, God made pepsi. God made me, oh so sexy. God made rivers, God made lakes. God made you, well, we all make mistakes.
- Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
- A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.
- I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
- My maturity level depends on who I’m with.
- A man from the North Pole that brings presents seems so much more believable than a bunny that hides eggs.
- I think I’ve found the trouble with our economy. There are far more ways to get into debt, than there are to get out of it.
- The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
- 1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness. So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.
Best Pals, in the making:
Dawwwww, now that’s adorable! Pass this onto your newsfeed for instant LIKE-ification.
Dog Brings Cat Inside…
Well, that’s a first. Thanks again, internet. Now, if only someone could bring me inside. Until then, share and share alike with this soon-to-be viral golden video.